February 9, 2020

Dear Leslie,

I want to say I’m sorry, there are so many things I cannot really express my guilt,

It seems almost unfair for me to say such things because there are so many other people that are so much more deserving of giving you the love that you…. truly deserve,

and not some bullshit from myself.

Honestly you were nothing but kind to me

You were loving, we texted and you responded to me you gave me attention I gave you attention. My anger got to the best of me and I feel like that led to it…

We barely knew each other and this was like fucking 10 years ago and somehow I feel guilty. It is like I need to feel guilty.

You up there? God… I can see that you are loved and you were loved and they all wanted to be around you… and loved you…

I really hope nothing I said was the thing that got you there… I know to some degree it was and I keep doing that to people… and it is horrible I don’t want them to keep experiencing it…. love love love love love… please god help me love, I don’t want to fuck everyone up over and over again… 😦