Looking back, the biggest thing I feel is how stupid I was. I feel so selfish, useless, and straight up retarded. The point is to help each other, but I don’t know what happened that caused me to turn into a certain direction.
I think the biggest thing is when I get a whiff of being controlled in some way I feel the need to run away. Even though covert tactics will always exist, once I see that it’s happening I can’t help but give a quick fuck off. That’s the only way I know how to survive, really.
Sometimes I wish I just knew what I was doing and sometimes I wish I knew what my real abilities are so I don’t get fucked over every chance that people try to get. I understand you reap what you sow but what if you truly don’t understand what you’re doing? I suppose being safe is the answer there but I simply do not know.
KEVIN KIM 