I wish my parents would actually have a conversation WITH me instead of spending the entire time telling me what to do. Maybe then our communication would improve. All they do is lecture me on and on and disregard what I say.

Patience and discipline.

What do I want my life to look like?

I want to chill, and I want to hang out. I want to do something I enjoy every single day.

I want to work for a principle that carries on throughout the world. I want clarity, niceness, love, basically the opposite of everything my family gave, I want people to be genuinely human and not one half of humans.

I want to have a wonderful, understanding, beautiful on the inside wife and wonderful, surprising kids who have so much confidence, inspiration, and love. I want to go through good and bad times with them and act as a singular family.

I want to have a job where I can utilize my strengths and see things through numbers and try to learn every single day. I want to be physically healthy and have no regrets.

I want to be better as a human being, have more positivity, and work towards goals.

I want to work from home and on the Internet. I want to have a clean, wonderful home office.

I want to be responsible, caring, and become amazing at getting over mistakes.

I want to have friends that I care about and care about me.

I want so many things, but all I really want is to sleep.

Still haven’t told my parents I got fired.

I feel like there is less and less to write about every day. Today was an eventful day, from an online perspective. I grinded a ton, I went onto the semi-finals of my fantasy football league, I won a tournament match for PTCGO, I sold a couple of items, and I had a lot of pretty decent social interactions. Overall though, I did not do much and just hung out and ate a lot of McDonald’s.

It’s a simple lifestyle, and the one I enjoy leading. It is not boring, as life is basically never boring; there is always things to look at. A lot of psychological analysis can be done over the transactional nature of things that have happened over these past 14ish hours, and that’s okay. However, they are just things that occurred between humans, not transactions. It feels like a lot of my interactions are quite transactional, namely a few people in particular. Regardless, I am tired and sleepy and had an ok day.

Reading the tweets that the MoonPie twitter account kind of gives me hope. The sarcastic, sharp, deadpan tone of that twitter personality behind the screen is the one that I have on a regular basis. If moon pies can become just a little bit more popular with that type of personality then maybe I have some hope too.

Tiring day. Spent all day with Julia and her need for validation again and again came up. I’m just so tired of trying to say the right thing every time. Just another one of those days. I love her and she’s trying really hard and I can tell.

Also hung out with Diane. She is going over to Julia’s for the week. I think they will be very tired overall. I would be if I had to spend all week with either one of them. They are both doing well though. Super proud of them.

I am very tired. Tired tired tired. Maybe if I say the words long enough it will become less tiring. Tired.

Julia came over today. We went to the spa and had a couple of great spa times. Lots of sweating, and always awesome to see naked old men in the shower.

If you couldn’t tell, that was a joke. I keep having to remind people, because it seems like people like my parents or my friends don’t understand the concept of humor unless they make a shitty joke out of it.

I also realized I got scammed for $60 today off an account that was promised and made. Unfortunately, Samuel was a shitbag who decided to scam several other people. I’m too lazy to charge back right now. Fuck that guy.

Other than that, a lot more grinding. A lot more of trying to become the best. I will get there soon.

Another day, another time avoiding responsibility.

No job, just unemployed, grinding FluffyMS. Making tons of gains. Useless in the long run but it’s great to see myself mathematically improve. I think that’s how I like to earn things –  see the results through the numbers. 45m range clean. Fuck yeah.

Today was a day of straight up grinding FluffyMS. I spent upwards of 14 hours simply grinding, getting Flames, making money, and a trip to Wendy’s. It was largely unproductive. I had a situation where I thought the other guy had scammed me for a small amount of money, but it happened to be that he just made a mistake.  I had not looked at the details too much.

Being unemployed is awesome, but I understand this cannot be the case for too long.

It always amazes me how important customer service actually is.

This was the case even before I went to Wendy’s yesterday. I have been feasting on a ton of fast food since I’ve been to Jersey – like, every single day almost. McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Burger King – every single one of those fast food chains have gotten probably at least one bitcoin from my account deposited directly into their hamburger-serving pockets.

Wendy’s is a little bit different than all of them. Every one of those are just standard – boring servers who just do what you say and then move on with their days. Wendy’s servers, even through the drive-thru, have said hello and have a nice day on a consistent basis. Yesterday was no different.

Their baked potato is also quite amazing and well-served. Several packets of cheese, sour cream and butter are the cream of the crop. No pun intended. It is a fast food chain no doubt, but exiting made me put a smile on my face.

Then again, it could have been that I was just listening to a podcast that had made me laugh. But no matter. Wendy’s has already convinced me that simply having the perception of being great at customer service has influenced my brain into thinking that they actually do have great customer service, and I will continue pursuing Wendy’s for my fast-food needs.

Today I spent 4 and a half hours driving. I went to the court in Bethlehem to contest a speeding ticket. I did not want that shit on my driver’s license record due to rising insurance rates, excessive pay and other things that other people told me and I brainlessly accepted.

Thank goodness I set an alarm at 12pm because otherwise I would have straight up forgotten. I drove up there for a 2 hour 15 minute drive up to the little town, stopping around 15 minutes beforehand for a quick drink and pee break. As I was close, I got lost and had to refresh my navigation several times before I was able to actually get to the desired location, which I thought was a courthouse – similar to what I had visited in previous times, where you go into a room and people listen to you – but this time it was legitimately a “court” where there were several dozens of people sitting down and the judge was in the front taking peoples’ judgments, reminded me somewhat of a town hall.

Anyway, I had rehearsed my line several times over and over again about how I didn’t have intent to speed – I was caught 83 at a 60 – but apparently they gave a ‘public defendant’ to everyone; mine told me I could plead guilty to a lesser charge. She originally recommended a reckless driving, or driving without license of a vehicle, or something of that sort? but when I questioned the cost – $75 charge with a 0-150 fine – she avoided the question by offering a lower charge plea of a $25 plus $150 for a parking ticket.

The fucking system man, trying to make us think we get a better deal, bribing us with “it’s gonna go on your driving record but a parking violation doesn’t” but making us pay that much more anyway. Whatever, I should stop speeding.

It was only one event, but there were so many people and I couldn’t concentrate on one thing and it just made me tired and I am about to pass out. Don’t “get a parking ticket,” folks, or else you’ll have to pay $175 for basically nothing.