Please be careful, I love you.

Why am I posting here?

Writing down my feelings only publicizes any feelings I have, which will obviously be taken advantage of one way or another.

Even if it is found, no comments are going to be made; there’s no validation, if I even seek that, really.

I only post here when I feel negative emotions which only perpetuates more self-negativity.

Analyzing my own feelings is futile, as feelings are instinctive in nature.

This is a fucking waste of time.

Bored and boring

Looking back, the biggest thing I feel is how stupid I was. I feel so selfish, useless, and straight up retarded. The point is to help each other, but I don’t know what happened that caused me to turn into a certain direction.

I think the biggest thing is when I get a whiff of being controlled in some way I feel the need to run away. Even though covert tactics will always exist, once I see that it’s happening I can’t help but give a quick fuck off. That’s the only way I know how to survive, really.

Sometimes I wish I just knew what I was doing and sometimes I wish I knew what my real abilities are so I don’t get fucked over every chance that people try to get. I understand you reap what you sow but what if you truly don’t understand what you’re doing? I suppose being safe is the answer there but I simply do not know.

Isn’t it just weird how the more you spend time with people the more lonely you feel

What’s the point

Remember, you are not your thoughts

I did say I would leave, after all. Gotta keep my word

Back to normal